Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Super Duper Absolutely Awesome and Complicated Life of a young Sorceress-in-training (A.K.A ME!!!) - January 2011

Chapter 1 ½: Prologue

OH, MY, GOD. I mean, Hi. My name is Sentamentoofixencookealauracintamatohoff, but you can call me Cookie for short. And I am also Young Sorceress-in-training # 1,3,5,7,9. I’m odd if you know what I mean. Ha! Wait. No, I’m not odd. Well, technically I am, but- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!

I’m 12 years old, and I have a LOT of problems.
#1: I have a LOT of homework for a Sorceress-in-training.
#2: I can’t talk. (I’ll explain later)
#3: I have too do MATH!!!!

I’ll explain them all now. #1; It’s a school so of course we have homework. #2; I have a talking problems. My teacher calls it stuttering. It’s like my mind is telling my brain to tell my mouth to say something, but my brain can’t get it out my mouth so I’m just sitting there going, “Ah, um… eh.” but if it does come out, and I’m trying to say thank you, it comes out like this, “T t han nk y you.” get it?
#3; becoming a Sorceress means we need to know math. I hate math. We don’t do it like 5+4=
We do it like B+☐xG=A57S. And that’s all my problems.
I have a very cute cat named Toby. He isn’t black because they ran out of black cats before I got there. That’s a picture of him right there. Isn’t he cute?

There are lots of rules I have to follow to become a sorceress. I’ll try to shorten the list a bit.
#1: My favorite color has to be black
#2: I am only allowed to wear black, purple and blue
#3: I need to wear a cloak wherever I go.
#4: I should have my wand with me at all times
#5: I need to carry my broomstick to wherever
#6: I should always ride my broomstick to class
#7: I need to train my cat to sit on my broom
#8: I need to wear my hat everywhere
#9: I need to learn to ride a broom
#10: I need to know how to read
#11: My favorite number has to be 13
#12: I should learn how to handle a wand
#13: I need to know how to write
#14: I am not allowed to cheat
#15: I should make friends with everyone, or no one
#16: I need to know how to do at least 13 spells at the beginning of the year
#17: I need to sign up for math, spelling, and History
#18: I need to know 513 spells by the end of the year
# 19: Go along to get along
#20: I need to be a “role model” for when the inspectors come
# 21: I need to wear dresses and pointy shoes.

It’s all in the book. The book meaning a HUGE book with all of the rules, witch are about 999,999,999,999,999 more. I’ll show you it, but you won’t be able to read it at all.

The rules to becoming a Sorceress are actually quite simple. All you need to do is follow all of these rules, and then, BOM! You can do great things one day. 1 you need to learn that to become a wizard is not fun. 2 don’t thing moment no because blah. 3 if you build a wall, you world is small, but a bridge of love, will conquer all. 4 if I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land. 5 I’d ring out warning; I’d ring out danger! I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters, all over this land ooohhh. 6 Wel I have a hammer, and I’ve got a bell, and I’ve got a song. It’s the hammer of justice! it’s the bell of freedom! it’s the song about love beetween my brothers and my sisters 7 all over this land. have you ever been skiing before today?

And there is a lot more. 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 more pages actually.

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